What doesn't kill u makes u stronger

The snowfall heavy enough to bring branches down

Okay so I haven't written in a while - I became disenchanted with blogging.  I thought - really nobody is reading this, maybe it is just pointless, but as I sat down to write today I looked back at my last couple of posts so that I don't repeat myself and if for no other reason than having a history for myself it is worth it.  I can't believe the amount of growth I have seen in each member of our family in such a short period of time.  The last few months have figuratively felt like a winter - some sunny moments here or there but a lot of darkness - instead of warm peace, cold doubts and wonderings.  There are times I am just not sure why we are out here, I miss home, I miss family, I miss Tanner clinic, and yet...

Kyler hang in on wheeler with Stu

I feel I am going through a refiner's fire.  I have had the chance to be in more uncomfortable situations than I can count but through it all have come to rely more wholly on the Lord for guidance.  I have come to know myself better - I have been a little closer acquainted with my own weaknesses and while that is not pleasant, it does open me up to making changes surrounding those weaknesses.  

Mostly I have come to realize what matters most to me.  As Stuart has gone to work I have to manage time more wisely, as we have less money, I have to manage finances more wisely, in short I hope I am becoming more wise.  

I have seen a lot of growth with my children as well.  Again with Stuart going back to work the kids have had more responsibilities around the home and they are really stepping up to the plate.  Kyler has always been responsible but I watch him taking time to organize his time, to think what matters most.  My expectations are still a little high for kids of their age, I think I need to accentuate the positive a lot more (especially in regards to older brother teasing younger brother) but overall Kyler is really becoming a young man.  

McKye is being challenged as well.  He has been so social and I think he is still working to find his place a little amongst friends, but he has come to spend more time with family members and I have seen him working to control his impulses.  He tends to be a do first think later kind of a kid, but with more time together we have had a chance to communicate and work on slowing down.

behind the wheeler
 of course

Addie snow-
boarding

Adderly is really becoming such a beautiful young lady inside and out.  She can be a bit of a spitfire, but in her take charge nature she also loves to lead and guide others.  I don't know where her passions may carry her outside of the home, but inside the home she is going to be such a wonderful mother.  I of course see too much of myself in her and cringe when they are the weaker aspects of my nature, but I am redetermined at least for today to show that positive, to see what they are doing good and focus on that.  It is so easy to lecture but really I have taught them the basics and as they apply them I need to be there as a support not a critic

In short as it says in 1 Ne 1:20 and I will show unto you the tender mercies of the Lord are over all, to make them mighty unto the power of deliverance.  This hasn't been the most laid back "fun" year, but I have felt the mighty power of the Lord as he has helped us stretch and grow and most of all I have felt his tender mercies and love