One year

So crazy as it seems, tomorrow marks the year anniversary of starting work here in Lakeville MA.  Retrospection and contemplation are interesting things, we see the past from different eyes than we did at the present, or we did when we were looking forward.  I was asked yesterday if I'm happy with the decision I made a year ago and well you know me, I don't like to share my inner most feelings lightly, so I made a few brief remarks about change and moving forward, but I have spent this morning thinking about the last year.

I'm in one of my funks so I was sort of down this morning, but exploring my thoughts and feelings I have to say at best they are mixed.  There is so much I miss - some of the littlest things - I haven't been able to get my seeds to take, so don't have a garden and I miss it.  I loved my raspberries, my sunroom, my seedlings, - watching the plants grow and harvesting at the end of the year.  I miss things that just seemed to be part of me.  I miss the routine of seeing my parents and grandma every sunday - I miss the vegetables she would always bring - and the dessert.  I miss mowing her lawn.  I miss my MA's at work, their laughter, their frustrations, the closeness we shared.  I feel that no matter how hard I try to stay in touch, my life, and those I would stay close to move forward faster than allows for a consistent communication.  I think it has been months since I spoke with some of my siblings, when I would normally see them a couple times a month.

BUT on the reverse side, I love the birds that wake me each morning from sleep, I love the breeze that always seems to be playing gently in the forest behind the house, I love watching my kids work together, finding new adventures.  I love the ocean - just listening to the waves crash against the sand, the breeze that comes off the water and the critters that are alive no matter where you go.  I love the smile on the faces at work, listening to new mothers working on life here just as they are everywhere throughout the world.

We have learned so much in the last year about what really matters, the importance of family.  The unique aspect of each person here on the earth and mostly the love of our Heavenly Father - that he has our needs in mind, and he is ready to give us all the support and love we need if we but just ask.  I have come to rely on him so much more and am thankful for the power of prayer and the holy ghost that continues to lead us in even the small choices.

With such mixed feelings I can't say that I am happy or unhappy with the choice we made, but I know we are where we belong right now for our family and I know I can continue to trust and rely on the Lord even when I may not fully understand, even when I may grow frustrated with my own weakness there is a greater plan and looking back over the last year has solidified my testimony and made me focus on the things that matter most.

I hope you can take a minute to pause today to think back over the last week, month, or year - what have you learned, where are you headed, what matters most to you, hold to that and


have a great day!!