So I hope I'm not the only one, but I vacillate between: I can do it feelings and being overwhelmed. One day I am ready to tackle any challenge that comes my way and the next I am overwhelmed by the most minute details. So I was in a slump last week, didn't feel like going to work, didn't feel like dealing with my kids and was kind of down, then of course I felt bad about feeling bad after all I have a wonderful life (pretty sure I've run along this thread before). So I've been counting my blessing that seemed to help for a bit but I needed a kick start. I started thinking about why I even do the things I do. My mind wondered along a path of maybe I shouldn't try so hard, maybe I have too much on my plate - Work, kids, celestial salvation, youth conference, gospel doctrine teacher - is it all worth it, sometimes I just want to sit down and read a good book without wondering if I'm good enough.
As I was thinking about my personal worth I started thinking about friends or people I know and giving them positive labels - I have one friend that is sooooo happy and upbeat, one that cares so much for others and I thought I wonder what other people think about me - what positive labels or other labels would they give me (not that they are judging) but really who am I; what is my character. I wondered what someone would do if I acted out of character. What would my sisters think/do if I showed up with a beautiful tattoo of fairy wings between my shoulder blades. Would they be like sweet she's joining the group or would they wonder why I was changing my standards. Just for shock factor I started daydreaming about a tattoo: why not really - after all isn't it kind of a display about your personality. I was questioning myself on why I follow the beliefs I do and just wondering who am I really. My thoughts continued only became more chaotic and jumbled as I was driving.
As I was questioning all this in my head I was driving to my yoga class (awesome in Ogden at the front if anyone wants to come with me) and while going over 24th street in Ogden, the Ogden temple arose in my view - coming across the viaduct it seemed to rise out of the city and I was overwhelmed with such a feeling of peace and worth I can't fully explain in words, but suddenly all the chaotic thoughts stopped and I knew who I was: a daughter of God who has trust in me that I will indeed find my path in life that I was looking at too many minute details and getting overwhelmed when all that really mattered was my heavenly father's love for me.
I am a woman of many aspects
a woman of faith, a woman of worries, a healer, a listener, a gardener, a pediatrician, a mother, a nurturer, an explorer, a friend.
Some of who I am can not be put in words but I am me: unique and changing as I grow in this life.
I'm back on course for this day at least and will forever treasure the tender mercy one day driving to a regular activity
WHO ARE YOU?
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