Okay so I know I talk a lot about the days when something is just off - I'm grouchy, irritable etc. So I am planning on blogging something positive this week, but for now… I don't know why I've just been restless - like something is going to change, or something is going to happen (as yet it has not) so as nothing has happened or changed I've just sort of been thinking about life and how it affects each one of us so differently.
Often in life we go through in a reactive state. I love yoga and one of my favorite instructors makes a statement as I'm trying to maintain a pose about feeling uncomfortable and not reacting to it. "You can be uncomfortable, but you don't have to be reactive to it - immerse yourself in what your body is feeling, feel the ebb and flow." As I take a deep breath I sink a little deeper and maintain. I would like to better follow that advise throughout multiple aspects of my life.
We all have good times and bad times, often we don't get to choose how others treat us, what circumstances may surprise us in life, but we do get to choose are reaction - that is not to say we choose how we feel but we choose how to act on that feeling. I have often wondered how to not get mad, not feel irritated, but as I have not yet mastered that I have learned that I can feel those uncomfortable feelings but not be reactive - I can process through and decide how to act. As I was giving my kids turns tonight I thought about the ability to choose how we see a situation or the world at large. We had a bit of a tough morning with the kids, but instead of talking about any of that I brought up the 3 things I loved most about the day - this in turn made my son mention what he liked about the day.
It is not always easy but when we take a step back from ourselves and give a situation time we can then see it in the best positive light (or at least the best we can consider)
Take some time this week to stop yourself and really analyze your thoughts - are you finding the good or bad, are you processing or just reacting
Sunday, May 18, 2014
Friday, May 16, 2014
Happy words
As my kids are getting to the teenage years they seem to respond in anger a lot. I have tried to determine what is before the anger - what is the primary emotion as anger is a secondary emotion. When we can appropriately label our feelings we are better able to find the problem leading to that emotion and then solve the problem.
I have had a very bad week - got hit in the parking lot - dinging my car, mistake at the hospital that was frustrating (but not dangerous) overly tired, worn thin, my husband took on a small part time job - just enough to throw more kid responsibilities on me and I was disillusioned by something that wasn't what i thought. Overall quite a few things to upset and yet I don't want to be upset. Whatever the primary problem and emotion I just want to be happy and at peace.
I spent a large part of my day in scripture study and prayer and have determined that instead of devining what the primary negative emotion is, I want to think of as many positive emotions as I can and then choose to feel one - thus choosing my action/feeling instead of just reacting to things around me. I know I could look up a list of these emotions but thinking of them on my own seems like it would help internalize them more
So: happy, excited, calm, joyful, hopeful, peaceful, grateful, giddy, fun loving
okay so my list isn't long - how big is yours?
I'm going to spend the rest of the day excited - I'm excited to be home from work, I'm excited to spend time with my kids, I'm excited to read a book, I'm excited to sit out in the warm weather, I'm excited for change, I'm excited to follow the promptings of the spirit, I'm excited to move forward. I'm excited to be me.
As my kids are getting to the teenage years they seem to respond in anger a lot. I have tried to determine what is before the anger - what is the primary emotion as anger is a secondary emotion. When we can appropriately label our feelings we are better able to find the problem leading to that emotion and then solve the problem.
I have had a very bad week - got hit in the parking lot - dinging my car, mistake at the hospital that was frustrating (but not dangerous) overly tired, worn thin, my husband took on a small part time job - just enough to throw more kid responsibilities on me and I was disillusioned by something that wasn't what i thought. Overall quite a few things to upset and yet I don't want to be upset. Whatever the primary problem and emotion I just want to be happy and at peace.
I spent a large part of my day in scripture study and prayer and have determined that instead of devining what the primary negative emotion is, I want to think of as many positive emotions as I can and then choose to feel one - thus choosing my action/feeling instead of just reacting to things around me. I know I could look up a list of these emotions but thinking of them on my own seems like it would help internalize them more
So: happy, excited, calm, joyful, hopeful, peaceful, grateful, giddy, fun loving
I'm going to spend the rest of the day excited - I'm excited to be home from work, I'm excited to spend time with my kids, I'm excited to read a book, I'm excited to sit out in the warm weather, I'm excited for change, I'm excited to follow the promptings of the spirit, I'm excited to move forward. I'm excited to be me.
Monday, May 5, 2014
who am I
So I've decided to try to post every wed and sunday but yesterday I was sick so I'm a day late today but will post anyhow.
So I hope I'm not the only one, but I vacillate between: I can do it feelings and being overwhelmed. One day I am ready to tackle any challenge that comes my way and the next I am overwhelmed by the most minute details. So I was in a slump last week, didn't feel like going to work, didn't feel like dealing with my kids and was kind of down, then of course I felt bad about feeling bad after all I have a wonderful life (pretty sure I've run along this thread before). So I've been counting my blessing that seemed to help for a bit but I needed a kick start. I started thinking about why I even do the things I do. My mind wondered along a path of maybe I shouldn't try so hard, maybe I have too much on my plate - Work, kids, celestial salvation, youth conference, gospel doctrine teacher - is it all worth it, sometimes I just want to sit down and read a good book without wondering if I'm good enough.
As I was thinking about my personal worth I started thinking about friends or people I know and giving them positive labels - I have one friend that is sooooo happy and upbeat, one that cares so much for others and I thought I wonder what other people think about me - what positive labels or other labels would they give me (not that they are judging) but really who am I; what is my character. I wondered what someone would do if I acted out of character. What would my sisters think/do if I showed up with a beautiful tattoo of fairy wings between my shoulder blades. Would they be like sweet she's joining the group or would they wonder why I was changing my standards. Just for shock factor I started daydreaming about a tattoo: why not really - after all isn't it kind of a display about your personality. I was questioning myself on why I follow the beliefs I do and just wondering who am I really. My thoughts continued only became more chaotic and jumbled as I was driving.
As I was questioning all this in my head I was driving to my yoga class (awesome in Ogden at the front if anyone wants to come with me) and while going over 24th street in Ogden, the Ogden temple arose in my view - coming across the viaduct it seemed to rise out of the city and I was overwhelmed with such a feeling of peace and worth I can't fully explain in words, but suddenly all the chaotic thoughts stopped and I knew who I was: a daughter of God who has trust in me that I will indeed find my path in life that I was looking at too many minute details and getting overwhelmed when all that really mattered was my heavenly father's love for me.
I am a woman of many aspects
a woman of faith, a woman of worries, a healer, a listener, a gardener, a pediatrician, a mother, a nurturer, an explorer, a friend.
Some of who I am can not be put in words but I am me: unique and changing as I grow in this life.
I'm back on course for this day at least and will forever treasure the tender mercy one day driving to a regular activity
WHO ARE YOU?
So I hope I'm not the only one, but I vacillate between: I can do it feelings and being overwhelmed. One day I am ready to tackle any challenge that comes my way and the next I am overwhelmed by the most minute details. So I was in a slump last week, didn't feel like going to work, didn't feel like dealing with my kids and was kind of down, then of course I felt bad about feeling bad after all I have a wonderful life (pretty sure I've run along this thread before). So I've been counting my blessing that seemed to help for a bit but I needed a kick start. I started thinking about why I even do the things I do. My mind wondered along a path of maybe I shouldn't try so hard, maybe I have too much on my plate - Work, kids, celestial salvation, youth conference, gospel doctrine teacher - is it all worth it, sometimes I just want to sit down and read a good book without wondering if I'm good enough.
As I was thinking about my personal worth I started thinking about friends or people I know and giving them positive labels - I have one friend that is sooooo happy and upbeat, one that cares so much for others and I thought I wonder what other people think about me - what positive labels or other labels would they give me (not that they are judging) but really who am I; what is my character. I wondered what someone would do if I acted out of character. What would my sisters think/do if I showed up with a beautiful tattoo of fairy wings between my shoulder blades. Would they be like sweet she's joining the group or would they wonder why I was changing my standards. Just for shock factor I started daydreaming about a tattoo: why not really - after all isn't it kind of a display about your personality. I was questioning myself on why I follow the beliefs I do and just wondering who am I really. My thoughts continued only became more chaotic and jumbled as I was driving.
As I was questioning all this in my head I was driving to my yoga class (awesome in Ogden at the front if anyone wants to come with me) and while going over 24th street in Ogden, the Ogden temple arose in my view - coming across the viaduct it seemed to rise out of the city and I was overwhelmed with such a feeling of peace and worth I can't fully explain in words, but suddenly all the chaotic thoughts stopped and I knew who I was: a daughter of God who has trust in me that I will indeed find my path in life that I was looking at too many minute details and getting overwhelmed when all that really mattered was my heavenly father's love for me.
I am a woman of many aspects
a woman of faith, a woman of worries, a healer, a listener, a gardener, a pediatrician, a mother, a nurturer, an explorer, a friend.
Some of who I am can not be put in words but I am me: unique and changing as I grow in this life.
I'm back on course for this day at least and will forever treasure the tender mercy one day driving to a regular activity
WHO ARE YOU?
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